Last year, at the age of 24, I went through a divorce.
During the separation and in the immediate aftermath, I went social media quiet and cleaned up my accounts, deleting photos that no longer brought me joy and hiding a lot of information in an attempt to control and limit what people could find out about me without asking. I became even more private in person, afraid that anything I might do or say would somehow sway the perceptions (read: judgements) of those closest to me and those I hardly knew.
I thought that if I didn't say the word, if I didn't tell people, they might forget that I had ever been married and this failure wouldn't have to be part of my story. I soon realized that there's just no way for anyone to understand who I am now without first identifying the catalyst for all of the ways that my life has changed.
Divorce is so painful, no matter the cause. I'm not saying anything new here but the realization is new for me.
What came after though, was beautiful, is beautiful and is worth carving out the space and time to write about because it is helpful and important and meaningful work, if only to me.
I used to be a married twenty-something writer who didn't write, worked at a desk job and felt powerless most of the time. Now, I am a single twenty-something, working as a full-time writer who travels often, lives alone in a city that feels like home and does whatever she wants.
This new life has been so so good to me.
I'm grateful that I went through that transition without a virtual audience. It's difficult to write with any grace or understanding without first gaining some distance from the circumstances that shape us.
So now, with some distance, I have this blog.
It won't be about divorce but it was born out of one.
More to come.